Jump to content


Don't go to Town on your own......


  • Please log in to reply
41 replies to this topic

HariKariGaryNeedsaCarry #1 Posted 07 June 2016 - 11:35 AM

    First Sergeant

  • Player
  • 20682 battles
  • 1,084
  • [OLD]
  • Member since:
    09-01-2015

*
POPULAR

Following another terrible losing streak on Blitz, I thought it was time to try something new.  I've got to be honest, I was feeling Lowe. So on my night off from Tanking, I decided to get a life.  There was nothing on TV except X Men featuring Wolverine or a David Attenborough documentary on the demise of the Tigers and Panthers (Leopards seem to be doing ok though).

 

I decided to go out so I made plans to go to Blitz Bar in the centre of Town. None of my friends wanted to go to Town and I have heard going to Town on your own was a bad idea, but my mind was made up. I got my best TOGs on and put my headphones on to listen to some music to get me in the mood, it was Franz Ferdinand. I took the shortcut and went along the Canal.

 

As soon as I walked in the bar I spotted a girl, she looked like an Oasis and my Palms became sweaty.  Her top stats didn't look impressive at 38, but she looked like a Hellcat and was dressed in purple so I figured she could be up for a re roll.  I went UP UP UP and started to talk to her.

 

I told her I had a T44 which was over 60%, she thought it was a cocktail and asked for two of them.  being low on credit I decided to go for something cheaper, so we ended up on Port. I wanted to moan about the price but I couldn't Object, 140. 

 

I said that I didn't get out much and previously I had only spoken to girls online, but of late I have been really disappointed with the matchmaking......

 

She wasn't alone, she was well protected on both flanks with Matilda on the left and Valentine on the right.  She insisted on protection as she was concerned about picking up an STI as she had heard they were tough to get rid of. She said she didn't mind the full frontal approach as she was more concerned about being penned from the rear.......

 

I reassured her that my Di cker Max was nothing to be scared of as my penetration values were low and my aim and rate of fire was a bit hit and miss.......

 

She said her name was Hayley and she had a Comet.  She also had a pet tortoise, a dog called Churchill, a cat who's name I forgot but it was a Pershing and she was into camping.  She moved really quickly and said maybe we should find a suitable bush and go camping together.

 

I said I was interested but had some concerns about being spotted by someone with binocs. She said not to worry as she would bring Annette.....

 

Before we could find a suitable bush I was spotted by her boyfriend Connor, who was hanging back at the rear.  I could see he was really upset but I was momentarily confused when he turned his back on me and started walking backwards towards me at great speed.  It was then I realised he was a very Angry Connor......

 

Connor wasn't alone either, he had Jackson and KeNi in support. It was clear he was up for a battle, he said I'm going to Chi Nu.....

 

I backed up to a wall, my adrenaline kicked in, I was calling out SOS but no help came.  I tried to keep track of their movements, the bar went completely silent, then I heard a sound, PING......... I froze, everything went sideways and the last thing I remember seeing was a black sign saying "PLEASE WAIT".......

 

When I came round I was wrecked, it was game over and I made my way back to my garage. 

 

The moral of this story is simple.......

 

Don't go to Town on your own!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 


Edited by GaryMaverickMcConville, 18 February 2017 - 09:49 PM.

harikarigaryneedsacarry_snowjag_eng.jpeg

 


samara73 #2 Posted 07 June 2016 - 11:40 AM

    Senior Sergeant

  • Player
  • 13628 battles
  • 542
  • [IRMA]
  • Member since:
    01-04-2012

I like much better than the confessional sessions going on today.

 

As I go off into the sunset whistling waltzing Matilda ☺


Edited by samara73, 07 June 2016 - 11:40 AM.


jonty_2014 #3 Posted 07 June 2016 - 11:57 AM

    First Sergeant

  • Player
  • 52240 battles
  • 3,795
  • [EMRS]
  • Member since:
    09-23-2014
Good advice.

 


Buters_Stoch #4 Posted 07 June 2016 - 01:06 PM

    Junior Sergeant

  • Player
  • 19153 battles
  • 207
  • [LEGN]
  • Member since:
    09-03-2014
Best ducking post in a while! 

For politicians, the delicacy of the etiquette and the subtleties of diplomacy count less than success. 

 


Cornish_Dyowl #5 Posted 07 June 2016 - 01:18 PM

    Senior Sergeant

  • Player
  • 24887 battles
  • 706
  • [AFK]
  • Member since:
    06-28-2014
Brilliant stuff. Getting some funny looks from my colleagues for laughing in a very quiet office...... :teethhappy:

               Proud to be a Deputy Lead of AFK and friend of clan IRMA.


Titus_Scato #6 Posted 07 June 2016 - 01:22 PM

    First Sergeant

  • Player
  • 35503 battles
  • 5,743
  • [1RTR]
  • Member since:
    10-18-2014

View Postsamara73, on 07 June 2016 - 11:40 AM, said:

I like much better than the confessional sessions going on today.

 

 

Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.  It has been 26 years since my last confession....

Buters_Stoch #7 Posted 07 June 2016 - 01:31 PM

    Junior Sergeant

  • Player
  • 19153 battles
  • 207
  • [LEGN]
  • Member since:
    09-03-2014

View PostCornish_Dyowl, on 07 June 2016 - 01:18 PM, said:

Brilliant stuff. Getting some funny looks from my colleagues for laughing in a very quiet office...... :teethhappy:

 

Just take a plane, here on the beach no one will judge you. ;) 

For politicians, the delicacy of the etiquette and the subtleties of diplomacy count less than success. 

 


mehaar #8 Posted 07 June 2016 - 01:35 PM

    Sergeant

  • Player
  • 20887 battles
  • 440
  • [AFK]
  • Member since:
    06-30-2014
Pin this.

{heroic image of tank obscured by impressive numbers}


CountVonJuhuu #9 Posted 07 June 2016 - 01:51 PM

    Sergeant

  • Player
  • 6475 battles
  • 255
  • Member since:
    08-01-2015
Thanks... have coffee all over my laptop...

   Proud member of Active Frontline Klan


Cornish_Dyowl #10 Posted 07 June 2016 - 01:52 PM

    Senior Sergeant

  • Player
  • 24887 battles
  • 706
  • [AFK]
  • Member since:
    06-28-2014

View PostButers_Stoch, on 07 June 2016 - 01:31 PM, said:

 

Just take a plane, here on the beach no one will judge you. ;) 

 

Wouldn't need a plane. North coast is only 8 miles away, south coast 10 miles :great:

Only problem is my boss may not be happy if I disappear...


Edited by Cornish_Dyowl, 07 June 2016 - 01:52 PM.

               Proud to be a Deputy Lead of AFK and friend of clan IRMA.


N1831 #11 Posted 07 June 2016 - 04:14 PM

    Junior Sergeant

  • Player
  • 14316 battles
  • 159
  • [TOX]
  • Member since:
    04-19-2015

I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one writing weird posts when drunk. 

Good job! By the time you decided to go camping at a bush I couldn't stop laughing :D



mayolicious #12 Posted 07 June 2016 - 04:45 PM

    First Sergeant

  • Player
  • 25226 battles
  • 1,789
  • [LOCA]
  • Member since:
    01-28-2015
Brilliant :;)

 


Frodo_Nifinger #13 Posted 07 June 2016 - 05:15 PM

    First Sergeant

  • Player
  • 38872 battles
  • 1,170
  • [IRMA]
  • Member since:
    09-14-2014

Ahh, still whiping the tears off my blushing face! :teethhappy:

 But you missed several point in your own story!

you picked up the good point of not going to town alone, but

then! You dont mess with a chick with top stats of mere 38! 

You will get burned every time! If she's a good 48 instead, you could make due, but a hefty 65 scares the bazookas of me.:ohmy:

I'll give you, the thought of her being up for a re roll, but when she said, her name was Hailey and had a Comet and then said she was heavily i to camping - then you RUN!

And if you face a very angry Connor, you dont back up to the wall, but run around and snatch his keg.:medal:

And never show of your Dicker Max especially not to an very angry Connor! 

Obey these rules and then once in a while you might get away with going to town alone, but keep that Dicker Max hidden!


Edited by Frodo_Nifinger, 07 June 2016 - 05:18 PM.

The Hobbit is a proud member of

HariKariGaryNeedsaCarry #14 Posted 07 June 2016 - 07:03 PM

    First Sergeant

  • Player
  • 20682 battles
  • 1,084
  • [OLD]
  • Member since:
    09-01-2015

View PostFrodo_Nifinger, on 07 June 2016 - 05:15 PM, said:

Ahh, still whiping the tears off my blushing face! :teethhappy:

 But you missed several point in your own story!

you picked up the good point of not going to town alone, but

then! You dont mess with a chick with top stats of mere 38! 

You will get burned every time! If she's a good 48 instead, you could make due, but a hefty 65 scares the bazookas of me.:ohmy:

I'll give you, the thought of her being up for a re roll, but when she said, her name was Hailey and had a Comet and then said she was heavily i to camping - then you RUN!

And if you face a very angry Connor, you dont back up to the wall, but run around and snatch his keg.:medal:

And never show of your Dicker Max especially not to an very angry Connor! 

Obey these rules and then once in a while you might get away with going to town alone, but keep that Dicker Max hidden!

Typical!!!! You come up with good points and great advice, AFTER I get kicked in the Di cker Max.........

 

Still, I think you have tremendous potential to be my wingman, I will be sure give you a shout next time I go down to Bar Blitz, I'm sure Matilda would take a liking to a cute little hobbit ;)

 


harikarigaryneedsacarry_snowjag_eng.jpeg

 


Frodo_Nifinger #15 Posted 07 June 2016 - 10:12 PM

    First Sergeant

  • Player
  • 38872 battles
  • 1,170
  • [IRMA]
  • Member since:
    09-14-2014

View PostGaryMaverickMcConville, on 07 June 2016 - 08:03 PM, said:

Typical!!!! You come up with good points and great advice, AFTER I get kicked in the Di cker Max.........

 

Still, I think you have tremendous potential to be my wingman, I will be sure give you a shout next time I go down to Bar Blitz, I'm sure Matilda would take a liking to a cute little hobbit ;)

 

Ohhh, me and my big feet are not great at waltzing!:hiding:

You need more than a shy hobbit to tackle Connor, kenny and Jackson - though I might get away with nicking his keg :B

But that leaves you dealing with Kenny and Jackson while I get slowly p*ssed ;)


The Hobbit is a proud member of

mishkamapk #16 Posted 07 June 2016 - 10:31 PM

    First Sergeant

  • Player
  • 44710 battles
  • 1,176
  • [VG]
  • Member since:
    11-09-2011
Best drink at bar blitz,  or even at Café-Noob up by the Church on the hill in Castilla, is Jagerumeister. After a few of those you start singing songs like "I saw a Mauuuss!", "where?", "there on the stair, there on the stair, right there. A little Maus with clogs on, well i declare" etc etc

ActionScope2016 #17 Posted 10 June 2016 - 07:48 PM

    Private

  • Player
  • 12017 battles
  • 9
  • [T-T-S]
  • Member since:
    03-13-2016
wow that was really clever, i liked the play on words. ....................you must have been pretty bored to right it though:bush::trollface:

HariKariGaryNeedsaCarry #18 Posted 11 June 2016 - 02:01 PM

    First Sergeant

  • Player
  • 20682 battles
  • 1,084
  • [OLD]
  • Member since:
    09-01-2015

View PostActionScope2016, on 10 June 2016 - 07:48 PM, said:

wow that was really clever, i liked the play on words. ....................you must have been pretty bored to right it though:bush::trollface:

 

cheers, all came together in about 30 minutes or so, killed half an hour in work anyway );
harikarigaryneedsacarry_snowjag_eng.jpeg

 


Dreadbane #19 Posted 11 June 2016 - 08:34 PM

    Sergeant

  • Player
  • 16132 battles
  • 286
  • Member since:
    05-10-2016

Hahahaha!

best thing Ive read all week!

Thanks

:teethhappy:



HariKariGaryNeedsaCarry #20 Posted 13 September 2016 - 04:45 AM

    First Sergeant

  • Player
  • 20682 battles
  • 1,084
  • [OLD]
  • Member since:
    09-01-2015
Shameless bump, since everyone lately seems to be going to town again. 
harikarigaryneedsacarry_snowjag_eng.jpeg

 





2 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 2 guests, 0 anonymous users