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Santa plays Blitz


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HariKariGaryNeedsaCarry #1 Posted 12 December 2016 - 09:24 PM

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Snow was slowly falling,

On the map they called Dead Rail,

Santa needed a strong tank,

To deliver xmas present and mail,

 

He chose the E100,

But this is not an all tier X fight,

All tier tanks are out playing,

On this very cold Christmas night,

 

He is determined to make his delivery,

He has an Iron clad will,

Plus plenty of patience,

Its took an hour to climb this bl oody hill,

 

"Santa we are spotted",

What is it, I can't see?

Pray to all the gods and Stalin

Its not Meadsy in his 183

 

"Santa, its the light bulb"

"OMG we have been hit"

Dont panic son it's a KV2

His dispersion is really sh it,

 

Boom goes the cannon

Santa fires his ap shell

Another drunken ruskie

Blown straight into hell

 

A leopard appears out of nowhere

He is crushed under the tracks

"See I told you it was a good idea

To carry all WG gold in this sacks

 

A Tiger approaches

"My God its Von Kie!"

"For Gods sake hide in this bush

And wait til he drives by"

 

Huwie is tooning in his Hellcat

Him and Von Kie are clubbing seals

His camo is simply horrific

But he has some rims and some nice wheels

 

Santa trundles onwards

Cancracker is praising the RNG

MM is just perfect he says

Theres no complaints from me

 

Ive looked for all the proof

I can't find a single shred

Never again will you see me

Complain about MM in a thread

 

Santa is totally confused

Surely this must be a dream?

Of course it's simply a mirage

Cancracker is always on the anti MM team

 

He sees phony in his pta

Follow me I know how to die

Santa raises his hand

And bids him goodbye

 

Jose Olas is flanking

He knows on this map where to go

Santa wants him to help with his delivery

Jose Olas says "No"

 

Sk8xtrm flashes by in a blur

He is driving the E25

My god he is amazing

He makes that tank come alive

 

Santa bumps into Bushka

He is doing a review

This tank is amazing you know

Id buy it if I was you

 

He blasts another bot to Smitherines

How do you like them apples he cries

Get the RU251 right now

My god man it flies

 

Epic Sniper is in his T71

He seems to be having a good run

Santa can tell its epic sniper

By recognising his thumb

 

The battlefield falls silent

There is a very quiet hush

Dont worry it's just Campist

He is as always sat in a bush

 

There goes mrpgilbert 

The pride of AFK

My god he is in an IS7

Get the hell out of his way

 

Dasseem Ultor is coming

You know he is watching you

But Santa has seen the Dassem Show

He knows what to do

 

Oh bugger it's Jonty

Now we are in the mire

Snapshot from his 152

Sh it Santa we are on fire

 

Use the extinguishers 

You stupid drunken elf

No that's the god damn med kit

Its on the other shelf

 

Put the fire out quickly comrade

Quick use the empty sack

Pull your god damn finger out

Before we have an ammo rack

 

The fire is extinguished 

Everything is under control

The mail must be delivered 

Onwards Santa let's roll

 

See Santa is a professional tanker

Some say that he is OLD

A pretty decent bunch of tankers 

Even if sometimes we fire gold

 

Santa makes it safely

He brings presents and some other bits

Coming soon to your I pad

A new update from Blitz(44)

 

So Happy Christmas fellow tankers

I hope your FPS stays fine

And comrade Stalin does his duty

To guide your shells from your BL9

 

 

 


Edited by GaryMaverickMcConville, 12 December 2016 - 09:31 PM.

harikarigaryneedsacarry_snowjag_eng.jpeg

 


Pururut #2 Posted 12 December 2016 - 09:30 PM

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Entire forum and its content summarized, gg wp

HariKariGaryNeedsaCarry #3 Posted 12 December 2016 - 09:36 PM

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View PostPururut, on 12 December 2016 - 09:30 PM, said:

Entire forum and its content summarized, gg wp

 

Pururut was just too difficult to find something to rhym with lol
harikarigaryneedsacarry_snowjag_eng.jpeg

 


mrpgilbert #4 Posted 12 December 2016 - 09:43 PM

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Lol. Especially me in IS-7... Someday, maybe. 

Denoobing member of the Active Frontline Klan - and proud of it.

Be nice to me..

http://www.blitzstar...r/eu/mrpgilbert


jonty_2014 #5 Posted 12 December 2016 - 10:42 PM

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Woo! Fame at last! Superb rhyming skillz. 

 


Noob_Tank_C0mmander #6 Posted 12 December 2016 - 10:57 PM

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Why has it taken 348 days for something great like this to be posted?

 

 


jonty_2014 #7 Posted 12 December 2016 - 11:02 PM

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View PostNoob_Tank_C0mmander, on 12 December 2016 - 10:57 PM, said:

Why has it taken 348 days for something great like this to be posted?

 

 

Cos good stuff comes at Christmas...


 


rossolancer #8 Posted 13 December 2016 - 12:02 AM

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My Dog is called Santa and he doesn't play blitz, just saying? 

 

It should of been call "Grinch plays blitz" and I wouldnt of been such a grumpy barsteward! ;)


                                       


HariKariGaryNeedsaCarry #9 Posted 14 December 2016 - 07:21 PM

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This forum makes makes me laugh/shake my head sometimes. 

 

147 views, 8 likes, just 5 people actually made they effort to post a comment. This took me an hour to compose and write. I could have used that time to play blitz, maybe ten games and on current form I could have won at least 5 of them. Instead I thought I would post something positive and mildly amusing, just something different from all the moaning. 

 

Dont get me wrong, I was not expecting a plethora of comments patting me on the back for being whitty, just expected to get a bit more response. I mean I see people post screenshots of masteries and 7 kill games get more comments.  "What's with the noobs" post has half a dozen pages of comments, slag someone off or have a pop at MM or WG and it seems everyone wants to jump on the bandwagon. 

 

Just makes me think why bother, 147 (so far) read this and vast majority either thought that was rubbish and not worth a comment or just could not be bothered to say something, anything. 

 

The forum has taught me much previously with regards to advice tactics and game play. What it's taught me with this is that it seems most people seem to get involved when a post involves a rant/complaint about afk/blockers/trolls/MM etc etc. 

 

Hence my rant, maybe it will provoke a reaction! 


Edited by GaryMaverickMcConville, 14 December 2016 - 07:22 PM.

harikarigaryneedsacarry_snowjag_eng.jpeg

 


jonty_2014 #10 Posted 14 December 2016 - 07:55 PM

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3 comments from me though...never mind the quantity, feel the width...

 

The forum is a tough crowd... 


Edited by jonty_2014, 14 December 2016 - 07:58 PM.

 


HariKariGaryNeedsaCarry #11 Posted 14 December 2016 - 08:35 PM

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Your my biggest fan! And you are as wide as a Maus.

 

Tough crowd indeed, sheesh, imagine if they were watching me play my snowjagdtiger 8.8 in a match where I was bottom tier and had high ping! 


harikarigaryneedsacarry_snowjag_eng.jpeg

 


Cancracker #12 Posted 14 December 2016 - 09:56 PM

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Wow, how did I miss this masterpiece until now?

Edited by Cancracker, 14 December 2016 - 09:56 PM.

"X 5 weekend, 10 games 9 losses ...
Some seals will be getting sooooo clubbed in the next couple of weeks."
                                                                                                             jonty_2014


xFluffyDemon #13 Posted 14 December 2016 - 10:04 PM

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I dont need to coment every time, enjoyed it a lot, lmao alot to, but i cant compose something like that, liked the post, nothing more to say.

Keep up the good work, and i hope i see u in battle, so we can talk about the fire that will ammo rack you:trollface:

 

Edit: dont get me wrong, i think it was so cool you could write somethkng like that, but i didnt post a comment cuz, well, i really dont have an excuse (im 17 ffs, thats my excuse) but yeah thumbs up mate.

Also i want to toon with u one day 


Edited by vianotik, 14 December 2016 - 10:09 PM.


hson_hson #14 Posted 14 December 2016 - 10:17 PM

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Lol, you're quite the poet ;)

Cornish_Dyowl #15 Posted 14 December 2016 - 10:33 PM

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View Posthson_hson, on 14 December 2016 - 10:17 PM, said:

Lol, you're quite the poet ;)

 

... and we didn't know it :hiding:

   Proud to be a Deputy Lead of AFK / IRMA.


Bearwoodman #16 Posted 15 December 2016 - 01:53 AM

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I was one of the 142 people who read it first time round and who lazily did not post a response.   I want to rectify that now by confirming I enjoyed it and to make it clear I appreciate your effort in putting it together.  I prefer witty and creative to boastful or paranoid so keep it coming!  I laughed out loud at the Epicsniper Thumbs stanza.



HariKariGaryNeedsaCarry #17 Posted 15 December 2016 - 05:47 AM

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Thanks all much appreciated, my rant obviously worked lol.

 

Glad I put in epics thumbs, was the only part I was unsure about, well that and also the Cancracker bit, but cc seems a good guy and sure he has a thick skin as have seen him take worse abuse than little tongue in cheek cameo in the poem.


harikarigaryneedsacarry_snowjag_eng.jpeg

 


Siko #18 Posted 15 December 2016 - 06:15 AM

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Very good :)

epcblue #19 Posted 15 December 2016 - 06:41 AM

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Mabye
 

szkaraj #20 Posted 15 December 2016 - 06:42 AM

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Great rhyme! I just read it. I don't read forum afternoon.

It made my day early morning. Thx for your time and for great rhyme. Keep them comin'.:medal:

We need fresh, positive poems, writings here.


The easy day was yesterday.





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